There’s really only one reason people even watch sports themed movies, right? It’s that great theme of the triumph of the human spirit.
No, it’s not. It’s training montages. Well, it’s probably training montage and that tearjerker inspirational speech the coach gives in the locker room when they’re x number of points down and only x number of minutes from making history. So there’s two things everyone loves about sports movies.
I first fell in love with them watching Mighty Ducks as a kid. Taking that rag tag group of children and forcing them to pick up trash near the net, tying them together at center ice, sending them screaming and whooping about whatever town that was supposed to be set in on roller blades to build up their stamina. I love a good montage because a) they skip over the boring parts where the coach explains why they’re doing the stupid thing and just shows them doing the stupid thing and b) the bitchin’ music.
With that in mind, during this hockeyless time while everyone watches skills competitions on the NHL network, I’ve come up with a training montage suggestion for every team that I will be sharing over the next four days, going coast-to-coast by division.
The Metropolitan Division:
*these are in order of playoff position as of 1/21/15
1. New York Islanders – Livin’ On a Prayer by Bon Jovi
Last year this team was kissing the basement, but what games Halak isn’t stealing for them, they’re apparently getting some great defense? His save % isn’t amazing, but their goal differential is +12, so something good is happening. Anyway they’re leading their division with four points to spare, but it all feels a little lucky to me.
2. Pittsburgh Penguins – For Centuries by Fall Out Boy
Penguins, Pens fans, Penguin beat writers, and especially the Flyers all remind us that Sidney Crosby plays for this team. Yeah, he’s pretty good.
3. New York Rangers – Go Go Power Rangers by Ron Wasserman
A little too on the nose? How about former Rangers Michael Del Zotto and Brian Boyle singing it instead?
4. Washington Capitals – Clumsy by Fergie
Since I don’t follow the Capitals much, except when they’re playing one of my teams, I went to my life-long Caps fan friend Mandy for suggestions. This is the text I got in response: “Is there a song about having high expectations but always being let down?” Followed immediately by “Clumsy by Fergie.” So, here ya go.
5. Philadelphia Flyers – Live and Let Die by Guns N’ Roses
Look, it’s no surprise to anyone that the Flyers (and the Kings, to some extent) are the team everyone loves to hate. I’m no exception.
6. Columbus Blue Jackets – Hugs by The Lonely Island
Well. You know why. If you don’t (or even if you do):
7. New Jersey Devils – Sympathy for the Devil by Rolling Stones
Another suggestion that might be a little on the nose, but we (and by we I mean my friend who suggested this) liked the many references to how long the Devil’s been around. Look man, the Devils are an old team (if you listen to the last podcast, you’ll hear me discovering their median age, which is a HILARIOUS number).
8. Carolina Hurricanes – Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
A) This literally HAD TO HAPPEN to someone. B) The ‘Canes are skirting the bottom of the pack (a spot still firmly held by the Oilers). C) Where “danger” means “winning the McDavid lottery.”
I’ve got songs picked out already for every team, but feel free to comment with suggestions!