Previously on Everyone Loves a Good Training Montage: Metropolitan Division
You’ve heard of the #EastCoastBias, I’m assuming. My east coast bias is that I don’t generally pay attention to them unless a) they’re playing my team or b) something disastrous happens. Sure, I’ve got warm fuzzies for Sidney Crosby (like the rest of the world, unless you play him often) and I pay attention to how the guys on my fantasy team are doing (go Ben Bishop!!!) but other than that, I basically only file enough information away to make fun of them later.
With that in mind, we move on from the Neapolitan Division to the other half of the Eastern Conference.
*Order based on points as of 1/22/15
1. Tampa Bay Lightning – Push Push (Lady Lightning) by Bang Camaro
Look, sure. It’s a little on the nose. But if you knew what I had to go through to remember what the name of this song was, you’d be totally cool with the selection. I could remember “push puuuuuuuuussssh” and that was IT. I kept coming back to Flash and knowing it was wrong. Anyway. Picture Stamkos and Ben Bishop pumping iron in their lightning bolt t-shirts with this playing in the background. Sold.
2. Detroit Red Wings – Chariots of Fire by Vangelis
“But Merrin,” you’re saying. “There already is a training montage to this song. In fact, the video you’ve shared above IS THAT TRAINING MONTAGE.” You’re right, gentle reader. You’re very right. But idgaf. This song is perfect. I’m giving it to the Red Wings because I think Zetterbeard in particular could have some epic moves to this music. (PS if you’ve never seen the movie of the same name, hiiiiighly recommended.)
3. Montreal Canadiens – Fame (Remember My Name) by Irene Cara
Give me time/I’ll make you forget the rest If you really listen to the lyrics of this song, is there any other choice for this team, I mean really. I’m gonna make it to heaven/Light up the sky like a flame
4. Boston Bruins – Beautiful Letdown by Switchfoot
I don’t like to say that I revel in the misery of others, but watching the Bruins cling to the last playoff spot in the East with both of Zdeno Chara’s significantly oversized hands this year has been very rewarding for me.
5. Florida Panthers – Dancing on the Ceiling by Lionel Richie
Look, they’re still 7 points out of the last playoff spot (so you’re saying there’s a chance??). But they’ve made VAST improvements in their fortunes since last season with only making a few key roster changes (and the first overall pick). Maybe that was a silly thing to do with this year’s draft class, but man, I’m kinda proud of them. Having legit goaltending has certainly helped, getting good offense, as well as getting some great great play out that first overall, Aaron Ekblad. I still hope they steal that #8 spot but even if they don’t, what a season they’ve had.
6. Ottawa Senators – Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler
No but picture Erik Karlsson slow skating around an empty ice surface, holding a worn picture of Alfie. Silhouetted in the background, one player per pane of glass, the rest of the team does a series of overly exaggerated calisthenics. Except for Curtis Lazar, he blows raspberries on the glass.
7. Toronto Maple Leafs – Out of the Frying Pan (And Into the Fire) by Meat Loaf
Google search: some people just want to watch the world burn. They’ve fired Randy Carlyle and while pretty much everyone agrees that was the right move, they’re basically taking a trajectory straight down the standings. (Case in point, when I made this list two weeks ago, they were above the Panthers and the Senators.) You’ve got nothing to do/And even less to lose.
8. Buffalo Sabres – Ain’t 2 Proud 2 Beg by TLC
For Connor McDavid. For their dignity. For some points in the standings. At least to get them above the Oilers, eh?