Moving on to everyone’s favorite division: CENTRAL. I say I have a #WesternBias like that means I don’t have a burning hatred for more teams in the West than I do in the East. The issue with the East is that I basically don’t know enough about those teams, while in the West I know enough to absolutely loathe some of them.
So yay! This should be fun!
*Order based on points as of 1/22/15
1. Nashville Predators – Knocking On Heaven’s Door by Bob Dylan (could also be the Guns N’ Roses version, I’m not picky)
This is almost entirely based on the fact that they’re three points behind the Ducks and the first place spot in the league right now. A far cry from missing the playoffs last year, and full credit to ex-Flyers coach Peter Laviolette for making something out of some very capable parts. (For reals though with Pekka Rinne out 3-5 weeks let’s hope the Hawks have a resurgence.)
2. St. Louis Blues – Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey
First, I’m 9000% aware that Detroit considers this their song, but that’s crap. This song is literally going ANYWHERE BUT DETROIT. So who’s to say the train doesn’t end in St. Louis? The oldest expansion team to have not yet won a cup, if you don’t count the California Seals who merged with the North Stars to become the Dallas Stars who won the cup in 1999. It’s not like a franchise can fold up and go home after eight Stanley Cup Finals appearances and zero Stanley Cups, so this is a completely tongue-in-cheek message to players and fans (as well as a heartfelt hope that Jamie Benn lifts the cup before David Backes).
3. Chicago Blackhawks – We Built This City by Jefferson Starship
It all started with two first round draft picks, an already pretty strong defensive core, and a dream. “I remember [Jonathan Toews] looking at me on the bench saying ‘We gotta fill this place up.’” – Patrick Kane. Actually it started like in 1926 with this franchise being one of the “Original Six” (quotations due to controversy) but hey, there’s no arguing that Toews and Kane ushered in the modern dynasty.
4. Winnipeg Jets – Gonna Fly Now by Bill Conti
Yes this is really happening. Jets are in a playoff position for the first time since the original Jets left and the Thrashers moved to Winnipeg. Getting strong now/Won’t be long now
5. Colorado Avalanche – Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
This was all a lot funnier before the Avs passed us in the standings (glaring down at you, Stars) but what was I supposed to choose, Radioactive?
*shudders* Let’s just say Stars fans are hoping for a landslide, eh?
6. Dallas Stars Holding Out For a Hero by Bonnie Tyler
WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD MEN GONE AND WHERE ARE ALL THE GODS, WHERE’S THE STREET-WISE HERCULES TO FIGHT THE RISING ODDS. You’ve been paying attention all season, right? Tyler Seguin’s trying his hardest to drag us into the playoffs, but maaaaannnn we could use some heroic goaltending and some heroic defense. I’M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO TILL THE MORNING LIGHT. HE’S GOTTA BE BRAVE AND IT’S GOTTA BE SOON AND HE’S GOTTA BE LARGER THAN LIFE.
7. Minnesota Wild – Runaway Train by Soul Asylum
Liiiiiiiiiike. I made this joke when the Wild were above the Avs, and it’s even more true now. This team made it to the second round of the playoffs last year and here they are, in the bottom of the Central Division (and yet, thanks most in part to the Eastern Conference, still a hefty seven spots out of the very bottom, man the central division is strong).