Why So Star-ious Tournament of Heartbreak and Elation: The Frustrating Four

We’ve made it, Stars fans. Through fire, flame, burned out playoff chances, and a lot of frustrating (but sometimes hilarious) moments in this Star-ry Star-ry season. You’ve chosen our final four contestants (hereafter referred to as the Frustrating Four), now vote on who makes it into the Final Round.

Voting for the Conference Finals ends Sunday evening, so make with the clicking of radio buttons!

Creeper Conference Finals – Neck Beard Division vs Supervillain Goatee Division

Our first match up has one of my personal favorite moments in the season pitted against one of my most annoyed graphs. On February 17, in a 4-1 blowout over the St. Louis Blues, our fearless leader scored his first career hat trick. How a player of Jamie Benn’s caliber made it almost six seasons in the NHL without scoring three in a game is a mystery for the ages, but I’m glad I was watching when it finally happened. Now to do it when they’re home in the AAC and all the hats in the world can rain down. He’s now only two goals away from 30 and six goals away from his career high of 34. There are five games left in the season, Jamie. I believe in you.

Pitted against the happiest our Frustrating Four Conference Finalists is an annoying thing that we thankfully only have to deal with a few times a season. That, of course, is the NBCSN broadcasts and their terrible, terrible announcers. It’s nice to realize that the Stars don’t matter at all to mainstream media. It’s one thing against the Blackhawks, the team that basically rallied US hockey fans into getting excited about hockey against after the 2012 lockout. But when I’m sitting on Carolyn’s couch listening to whoever that dude is (I’ll learn his name when he learns Klingberg’s) going into absolute rhapsodies about the frickin Minnesota Wild, we’re gonna have a problem here.

The most annoying thing is that it isn’t just NBC, and it hasn’t stopped happening. Does that make Dallas Stars fans the most hipster fans in the NHL?

Hipster Conference Finals – Duck Dynasty Division vs Soul Patch Division

This conference final fills me with sadness, but it’s up to you to decide which is star-ier.

It’s no secret that the Bearded Ladies love Jordie Benn. He’s an underappreciated player that takes a lot of heat from Stars fans. Some of it justified, a lot of it not. So we were pretty thrilled that he had such a brilliant game against the Islanders. Patrik Nemeth had finally returned to the line up after missing most of the season due to a laceration I watched him receive in an early game against the Flyers. Stars were set to have a great defensive game, with seven rolling d-men to help Nemeth ease back into play. Then, on his very first shift of the game, Trevor Daley gets taken out by a knee on knee collision with Islanders player Matt Martin. So who stepped up and took those minutes?

If you answered anyone but Jordie Benn (Goligoski would probably be a crowd favorite), you’d be heinously wrong. If you answered Jordie Benn, you’re a smart little cookie and I love you. JORDIE BENN took those defensive minutes, a lot of power play and pk time, and basically had the game of his life.

And then, with 1.1 seconds left to go in the game, a shot from John Tavares deflects off his skate and into the net. Yes, our net. That one.

So which is Star-ier? Jordie Benn having a game to silence the haters, and then allowing the game tying goal to go in off his skate? Or could it be the fact that every single goalie we seem to go up against finally finds their mojo? Even goalies that have struggled all season. Even goalies playing their fifth games in the NHL. Even RICHARD. BACHMAN. who we all remember from previous seasons in Dallas, and who has since been playing as the BACKUP to Laurence Brossoit IN THE AHL.

You heard me. We played the Edmonton Oilers backup’s backup’s backup. And we lost. We not only lost, we were SHUT. OUT. (I’m still insanely bitter about this, if only because it was really the beginning of the end of our playoff chances.)

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