5.2 SC Playoffs Recap (Who Made This Schedule, Anyway?)

Midday games are the best, right? Except not on Saturdays, because on Saturday I had to do actual things and couldn’t catch the midday game. I decree 12:30 (Rangers Time) starts should only ever be on Sundays because that’s when people want to be lazy all day and sit around on their couch day drinking. Make it so, NHL.

Game 1 (the only game): Rangers v Capitals

Final Score: Rangers 3 – Caps 2

Series: Tied 1-1

Chris “The Reason the Rangers Are Considered Fast” Kreider opened the game with a super quick goal, scoring only 38 seconds into play and kicking off what would be an entirely dominant period for the boys in blue.

Washington couldn’t get their shit together and gave up 3 penalties, including one which resulted in an unassisted power play goal from Dan “Thank God St Louis Is Here to Make Me Look Young” Boyle.

At the end of that period, in all situations, the capitals had just 6 shot attempts. 6 Shot ATTEMPTS, not 6 shots on goal. They only had 4 of those. The Rangers had 15 shots on goal and 28 shot attempts. Oof.

Whatever Barry Trotz said during the intermission worked and in the second, the game opened up quite a bit, with the Caps winning the possession battle at 60% and getting 16 shots off, including this choice little rebound goal by Evegny “Where is Tarasenko Now, Bitches” Kunetsov.

Most of the game was a goaltender battle, as both teams managed over 30 SOG, and Lundqvist and Holtby were both making crazy saves left and right. Unfortunately for the Caps, their defense collapsed early in the 3rd and Derick “I Didn’t Choose to Spell My Name Like That” Brassard is able to camp out right in front of Holtby and pick his spot to wrist one in for the 3rd Rangers goal.

Ovi does his best to get the Capitals back in it with probably what will be the best goal of the entire series, scoring halfway through the 3rd while falling down.

And while the Caps pushed hard for that last second winner again, Lundqvist whispered “never again” to the universe, and the Rangers checked a box in the win column.

What We Learned: Despite both team’s scoring depth, this series is likely going to come down to which bearded goaltender will impress the hockey gods the most. Yesterday, it was Henrik “Fuck Yeah” Lundqvist.


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