Movie Review: Score, A Hockey Musical

This summer, because there won’t be hockey games for us to review, Carolyn and I are going to watch some hockey movie classics and bring you reviews. We’d planned to kick it off with a showing of The Mighty Ducks but honestly after that game on Sunday I couldn’t stomach it. So we did Score: A Hockey Musical instead, which turned out to be an EXCELLENT palate cleanser.

This is normally where I’d copy the imdb synopsis of the movie, but it’s literally the line “teenage boy becomes hockey sensation” and that’s kinda boring. This movie is about a teenage boy, Farley Gordon, who was raised by well meaning hippies (his mother is Olivia Newton John, so that was amazing) who home-schooled him his whole life. He lives next door to his best friend, Eve, and plays shinny just for funsies and has never tried organized sports. Until the fateful day his skillz are witnessed by that one guy from X-Files who has been in literally everything filmed in Canada. Hijinks (and singing) ensue.

Oh hey, I found the preview on youtube:

(If you watched that preview and thought you saw George Stroumboulopoulis, Walter Gretzky, and Theo Fleury, well. You did.)

I need to preface this review by telling you that I was kinda drunk for a lot of it. We started drinking when the Hawks went down 2-0 and didn’t stop for . . . a while.

But you guys, I’m pretty sure I would have been utterly delighted by this movie even if I’d been sober. There’s the predictable amount of struggle for this pacifist kid to fit in on a team of fighters (this is one of the major storylines) and his struggle to balance his time playing hockey with his best friend (the other major storyline).

Also there’s singing. In the locker room. On the ice. On the bus. In his room at home. At an art museum where Eve flagrantly ignores admonitions to not touch the art. And look, none of these people (Olivia Newton John notwithstanding, though let’s talk about how much her voice has aged) will be soloing at Carnegie Hall any time soon, but that’s a lot of the charm of the movie too. The leads are better than the supporting cast, naturally, but probably not going to release their solo pop album either. And the songs are great. Literally, actually great. At some point Eve is suspected of dating this Italian figure skater named Marco. When confronted by Farley about it, she sings “for him I did not my heart or saliva forsake.” (The meter is occasionally a little bit bizarre.)

The movie did have its detractors. It was predictable. The acting was only so-so in parts. Every game featured line brawls where players would literally come off the bench to beat each other up. SUSPENSIONS FOR EVERYONE except . . . there seemed to be no consequences for anything. Not the point of the movie, I know, but c’moooon.

Still. On the whole I was delighted, and I would heartily recommend this movie to any hockey fan who a) likes musicals and b) doesn’t require a lot of seriousness in their movies.


Beard 4


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