5.22.15 SC Playoffs Recap (Would This Game Have Been Better at 2-1? Sources Say “No”)

My Roomie has decided that the Lightning are her favorite team in the playoffs, because “Quicksilver would play on them if he were a real person…and a hockey player…and he’s the best. I mean, look at their logo!” Needless to say, the loss, on top of her already bad day, was not what she wanted to see last night.

Game: Rangers vs Lightning

Final Score: Rangers 5 – Bolts 1

Series: Tied 2-2


Jon Cooper said in his post-game presser that Tampa “Did everything but score”. Well, looking at the numbers, that’s almost true. In all situations, his team had 59% of the possession, 62% of the shots on goal (61% at even strength), and 59% of the Scoring Chances. So as a coach, it’s hard to be mad about that effort.

Except…they also gave up 4 power plays. And failed to convert on the 4 power plays they had themselves.

You see, the first was a pretty evenly matched affair, with both teams getting one power play chance, and New York actually winning the 5v5 possession battle with 58%. Tyler “Favorite Peanut” Johnson rings one off the post on the Bolts man advantage, but no one manages to convert until Rick “Wait Really?” Nash slips this beauty past Bishop with less than 3 minutes left in the period.

The second period is when I wake up from my nap, and apparently so do the Lightning, just dominating possession at 77% and putting 14 shots on net. Steven “I Feel a Strange Kinship with You” Stamkos finally manages to crack Henrik “How Do You Say Zen Master in Swedish” Lundqvist with a sniping shot that he just watches fly right past him.

Game tied, the Rangers make a good push in the remaining minutes of the period, with Chris “Remember Me?” Kreider scoring to put them up 2-1, and then 2 minutes later, the best moment of the game comes when twitter explodes, thinking that Tanner “Hockey Is Not My Calling” Glass had actually gotten a goal.

Don’t worry, it was quickly credited to Yandle, but actually bounced in off of the Lightning’s Hedman, which illustrates the kind of luck they were having last night.

We make it to the third with the Lightning down by two, but as every hockey fan knows that’s a deceptive score. And given what happened on Wednesday, Rangers fans were holding their breath, waiting to see what the Bolts would do.

And apparently, that choice would be “Take stupid penalties”.

Yes, Nikita “Alliteration Is Fun!” Nesterov goes off with high sticking just 4 minutes into the period, giving putting the Rangers on the power play, and who would capitalize on that other than Martin “Do You Miss Me?” St Louis.

No need to be so smug, bro.

It just gets worse from there, with Brenden “Remember Me in Dallas? Those Were the Days.” Morrow going off halfway through the period and giving Rick “Known Playoff Performer” Nash the opportunity to score his second goal of the night. Yes, you read that correctly.

From there, it just devolves into the kind of shit show you don’t frequently see in the playoffs, with 4 roughing penalties, 3 10 minute misconducts, and 2 unsportsmanlike conducts handed out in the last 2:30 of the period. I don’t know man, I don’t even know.

What We Learned: I really wish Tanner Glass would just quit hockey and open up a baby yoga studio. He’s good with kids and clearly needs to find his chill.


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