5.23.15 SC Playoffs (The Chicago Blackhawks & The Power of Love)

Holy crap, so last night was a lot for me, for multiple reasons. First, I received some really bad news about my family, so I was already in a fragile emotional state. THEN, we were in the midst of several tornado/severe storm warnings (and a microburst actually did happen in my neighborhood, I found out this morning), and so I was emotionally fragile enough I was like “Nope, I cannot watch this game because I have no idea what the Hawks will decide to do.”

Game: D*cks vs Blackhawks

Final Score: D*cks 4 – Hawks 5 (OT)

Series: Tied 2-2

First: Raise your hand if you thought this series would end in less than 7. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Yeah, it was always gonna be this way, unfortunately.

Second: Quenneville got over whatever momentary lapse in judgement caused him to bench Teuvo “Tiny Finnish Patrick Kane” Teravainen and Antoine “I’m Even Better Looking When I Speak French” Vermette last game. They were both in, with Patrick “Don’t Hate Me Cuz I’m Beautiful” Sharp rounding out the line on the Left Wing.

Third: Because of my emotional fragility, I chose to watch movies from the 90s starring Sandra Bullock. So expect references.

The first period was almost all Blackhawks, as they put up 14 SOG to the Ducks’ 6, and had 71% possession. There were two minutes of 4v4 play as Patrick Sharp felt challenged by Patrick “The Beard Wears Me” Maroon and the two received coincidental minors. The Blackhawks got another power play about halfway through the first, but surprise surprise, failed to convert.

And then at the end of the period, Seabrook went off for slashing, and well, I feel like you’re justified in yelling about the reffing for this beautiful shorthanded goal by Brandon Saad, as a collision with the ref turns the puck over and then Saader does this:

By contrast, the 2nd period was run by the Ducks, determined to get back in that race.

They had 57% all situation possession and 11 SOG to the Hawks’ 6. Oh, and they managed to deflect a puck past Crawford to tie the game.

(This was initially announced as Palmieri’s goal, but it’s been since credited to Etem because of the deflection).

It was at this point While You Were Sleeping ends for me, and I turn on another favorite Sandra Bullock movie, Practical Magic.

And then the 3rd period starts. Now, in the regular season, the 3rd was the best period for both of these teams, and it’s been the game decider for the majority of this series. So the United Center was delighted when first Jonathan “Dead Inside” Toew scores, and then just 5 minutes later Brent “Have You Ever Been to Texas in the Winter? The Weather Is Quite Lovely” Seabrook scores to give the Hawks a 3-1 lead.

So you know the part in Practical Magic where Sally looks out on the balcony and sees the ring around the moon and goes “trouble coming?” Yeah, I wasn’t watching the game, but I had a feeling. And then 3 minutes later, there’s a scene with Jillian freaking out about blood on the moon and bad things happening and I’m like “I have a bad feeling about this…”

Yeah, that happened. While the sisters were accidentally killing the abusive boyfriend. (Listen, the move is from 1998. You’re not getting spoiler warnings for a movie that wouldn’t get carded trying to go to other R-rated movies).

Those 3 goals in 37s are the second fastest 3 goals in history, btw. So expect that storyline to be bandied about a lot.

But it’s not a Blackhawks game in the playoffs without someone being clutch, and unsurprisingly, it’s Patrick “Showtime” Kane coming through on the power play with this weird redirection that bounces off of Andersen’s pads and in.

ANNNND WE’RE OFF TO OT!

Because this is a Hawks game, not much happened in the first OT, other than the Ducks appearing completely dominant, with 17 shots on goal to Chicago’s 5. Yes, 17 to FIVE. The most fun thing that happened was Andrew “Call Me Messi” Shaw’s commitment to Hock-er? Sockey?

(If anyone has a gif of this, I would love to see it)

Despite the offensive pressure, no one, especially not the Ducks, capitalize in 1OT and so WE’RE OFF TO 2OT!

Meanwhile, Sally has figured out that Abusive Boyfriend’s spirit is haunting Jillian, and there’s shenanigans while her True Love Federal Marshall attempts to pin his murder on the sisters.

Apparently this is how most of the fans felt last night who weren’t watching Practical Magic. Anyway, 2nd OT starts just as things start getting intense in the movie. Jimmy’s spirit fully possesses Jillian’s body and Sally calls in all of her whitebread uptight PTA acquaintances to form a coven to exorcise the spirit.

There’s dramatic chanting, and Nicole Kidman is writhing on the floor and then ALL OF A SUDDEN VERMETTE SCORES THE GAME WINNER!!!

What We Learned: The power of friendship can conquer even the evilest of spirits, like the Anaheim Ducks.

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