5.29.15 SC Playoffs Game Recap (You Don’t Have To Go Home But You Can’t Stay Here)

If I had more Eastern Conference feelings, that game would probably have been hella stressful. As it was, my feed kept freezing and after a while I stopped trying to fix it.

Rangers vs Lightning
Final Score: Rangers 0 – Lightning 2
Series: Rangers 3 – Lightning 4

Two periods were played, and while the Rangers were outpossessed and WILDLY out scoring-chanced, Henrik “my team might not survive the offseason (because I’m going to kill them)” Lundqvist does what only a goalie nicknamed the King can do. He saves everything.

Not only should Rangers fans learn that song, but Rangers PLAYERS should also learn that song. King Henrik would take it as his due.

And mostly because they were wildly outpossessed and out scoring-chanced, the Rangers managed to get a grand total of nothing past Ben “what net space can I possibly leave you” Bishop.

And then the third period happens. A little under two minutes in, Alex “yeah I have no idea how that went in either” Killorn just throws the puck on net in vain hope and the puck . . . actually trickles through Lundqvist’s five hole in a display that he’s probably going to be watching on repeat all summer. Seriously. The slowest series-winning goal in history, probably. (No, I haven’t fact checked this.)

He almost stopped it, is the saddest part. For him, I mean. If you’re a Lightning fan I’m sure you basically don’t give a shit.

About ten minutes later, the Triplets do what the Triplets have been doing all playoffs. Is anyone surprised when they score anymore? I’m not.

Tyler “did you know I went undrafted?” Johnson broke away from Carl “actual fastest skater in the league” Hagelin and fed the puck to Ondrej “dare you to call us a kid line” Palat, who for some reason had no trouble getting it past Lundqvist.

I mean, it was square to Lundqvist and I’ve seen him make that stop before. But oh well, there’s still almost 9 minutes of game left. The Rangers played desperation hockey in this period, and it could have paid off.

(Some of us only like to remember that time because the D*cks still lost the game, GLENN.)

But despite finally turning on their offense in the third, they weren’t able to get anything past Bishop at all, and he got his second shutout of the playoffs and of this series.

What we learned:

Handshake lines are still my favorite.

(LOOK AT THAT HEIGHT DIFFERENCE)

(The great captain trade of 2014.)

(Goalie love.)

And bonus:

Do they not make conference champs shirts in Johnson’s size?!?!

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