The Post of Pulchritudinous Patricks

It’s no secret to anyone with . . . eyes that Patrick Sharp is a beautiful man.

Once voted one of the 50 most beautiful people in Chicago, Patrick Sharp has the chiseled jaw of a lesser (or greater, let’s be real) god, maybe the god of good flow and sassy (and infrequent) tweets.

And if Patrick Sharp is a god, Patrick Eaves is at least a demi-god, maybe even Sharp’s younger brother, the god of enormous dogs and piercing blue eyes. (Look I never said I was aces at assigning god duties.)

In our 4th ever podcast, the Ladies had a conversation about which Patrick in the NHL was the most pulchritudinous. I believe Carolyn came down on the side of Sharp and I came down on the side of Eaves. We left it up to our readers to decide, and out of 35 votes, a staggering 19 were for Sharp. (This is so scientific, our sample size is so large, these are foolproof results.) (Like it would be any different if we asked Chicago fans to get involved.)

Patrick Eaves pulled a respectable second, only two votes ahead of Patrick Kane, because hockey fans love mullets and soft hands, I guess? I’m not even sure about that voting, but the important part is that Eaves came in second.

Meaning, Stars fans, that we have the TWO PRETTIEST PATRICKS IN THE LEAGUE ON OUR TEAM.

And we’re gonna celebrate in style. If just posting a bunch of pictures of extremely good looking men can be considered a style.

Just kidding, it’s the only style we know.

patrick eaves
I so wish this were in color. HIS EYES, Y’ALL. HIS EYES.
Just feel your own eyebrows and tell us, Sharpie.

source: subbaned

Imagine Casino Night 2016, friends. IMAGINE.
His smile and this dog.

source: yzermanwingedwheel

He frequently leaves just the perfect amount of stubble to really accentuate his strong features.

source: wintermonthnovelty

Kinda like this one does.
Like who looks this good in a stupid roster photo.
Oh. Well damn.
He just always looks like he’s wearing eyeliner, which just serves to make his eyes look bluer.
Can we take a moment to appreciate how perfect his hair is? That’s one thing Sharp has over Eaves. Poor Eaves’ hair is often a disaster.
Sometimes life-ruining, but never a disaster.

source: grim-lupine

Even during the playoffs.
Shhhh I know this is supposed to be good pics but just. Can we just.
So much better.

So basically, Jim Nill has done our eyes all of the favors this off season, and for that we thank him.


*I’m unable to find a source for the approved gif, please let me know if you know where it came from, the only source I can find is pinterest.

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