The season is drawing ever nearer, which means we, the Ladies, have reached the “frothing at the mouth” stage of anticipation. While we know our readers aren’t always as ravening as we are, we figured now would be a good time to bring back the 2BL Mailbag, just in case you had burning questions about the upcoming season.
Who do you guys think will be beside Jomoo Bonn and Toloor Sogoon? I’m hoping it will be Potrock Shorp.
C: I laughed until I cried when we got this question. I completely forgot about this joke. Oh man.
M: I think it was the first time I fell off the now sadly deflated exercise ball, so I don’t forget this one. Jomoo Bonn ahahahahaha.
C: As for actual lines, yes, it looks definitely like Potrock Shorp (teeheeeeeee) will be joining the wondertwins.
M: As Merrin predicted in the beginning of the summer, Carolyn shot down, and then Lindy Ruff confirmed. Or, Morron (HOW DID I NEVER DO THIS BEFORE) Corolon, and Londo Roff.
C: Londo Roff!!!! It’s like a Star Wars name.
M: I was literally making this joke at exactly the same time. GREAT MINDS.
MAILBAG CONTRIBUTION Who has the best Dallas Stars butt? Who will be the first victim of Sharpy’s notorious pranks? Will he find a partner in crime? Thank you for the time and consideration you will put towards these hard-hitting questions ❤ :**
M: I mean. I’m pretty sure we all know who I’d say for best butt. But honestly they basically all have the best butt? Hockey is good for butts.
C: Hmmm, butts. Honestly I don’t know? We don’t have any like “OH MY GOD, MERRIN LOOK AT HIS BUTT” guys like Crosby. I feel like we should do more investigating before we really answer this question.
As for pranks, I guarantee you Sharp has already pranked Seguin.
M: As for partners in crime, I’m pretty sure he’s going to join the crime syndicate of Demers, Seguin, and the Benn bros.
C: I could see him joining forces with Fiddler. Age & Wisdom vs Youth & Beauty.
M: New idea for the Stars marketing team: give Sharp and Fiddler a selfie-cam during road trips, a la Burr (what the crap was his name, is that it?) and Sharp.
C: (Burish) Also, Yes. Please. Please do that.
M: (thanks) HOW AMAZING WOULD THAT BE.
C: SO AMAZING.
M: It’s a crying shame that we aren’t in charge of Stars marketing. Like, I get that they’re not working with the resources the Hawks are, but a camcorder? That’s cheap, bro.
1) is grilled cheese encased hot dog a dbl sandwich? 2) do we trade Jokipakka to a cap strapped team to make room for Nemeth?
C: First, let me state for the record that a hot dog is not a sandwich. A hot dog is a sausage. With or without a bun, it is called a hot dog. It IS a sandwich with a bun, but if you’re not going to specify ‘with bun’ then you cannot define it as a sandwich.
M: Is a corn dog a sandwich on a stick: discuss.
C: No. It is a breaded sausage, much how you would consider beef wellington a dough-wrapped tenderloin.
M: BUT IT’S MEAT IN A BUN.
C: It’s BREADING, not a bun.
M: I’ll concede since you already acknowledged that a hot dog in a bun is a sandwich. People get weird about this debate. So I guess, to answer the question, if a hot dog in a bun was somehow also encased inside a grilled cheese sandwich, then yes. Double sandwich.
C: I think it might just be a sausage (hot dog) with a grilled cheese AS the bun. At which point, i don’t think it’s a double sandwich. Maybe like…a sandwich and a half?
M: I don’t know, but I haven’t eaten dinner yet and I kind of want to try this.
C: Anyway, hockey question.
M: Idk what our cap situation is, do we need to trade someone to keep Nemeth? Because if we do, I vote Jokipakka or Oleksiak off the island.
C: I am intimately acquainted with our cap situation. No, we do not currently need to trade anyone. However I could definitely see it happening IF the returns were right. I think other teams will come sniffing around our defense, too. Jokipakka is probably the more valuable of the two you mentioned, so while I’d rather see Oleksiak off, I think Jokipakka would get the bigger return.
M: What’s Jokipakka’s contract? Because Oleksiak is only signed through this year, which I would think would make good trade fodder at deadline.
C: They are both RFAs, JJ is signed for the next two years, but also at the bargain price of $900k. Oleksiak is only slightly lower at $875k. Either of these two being traded would mean the other team would retain negotiating rights, which could be super valuable as they develop this year.
M: Gotcha. I’d say that answers that question.
Now that Patrick Sharp has replaced Jamie as Tyler’s #1 Dallas bro, who will be Jamie’s bro now?
M: I question your contention that Patrick Sharp is Tyler’s #1 Dallas bro after one game that Jamie wasn’t even playing in. And . . . Jordie’s still his #1 bro. They’ve got it tattooed on their arms forever, just in case they forget.
C: Yeah, I definitely think Jordie would be offended by the implication that he wasn’t Jamie’s BFF4Lyfe. BUT can I use this moment to thank whatever deity that Jordie is masking his “brothers forever” tattoo with a better, prettier sleeve? Because that is a Good Decision.
M: You can, if you must. One of my favorite Jamie interviews is still the one where Jamie says he and Jordie are pretty much in a relationship. Those dudes have a weird relationship.
C: Anyway, I’m pretty sure on Seguin’s list of favorite people it goes like 1) his Mom 2) his sisters 3) his dogs 4) Jamie. They have too much fun goofing off in practice together.
M: That list looks accurate to me.
That’s all for today!
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