2.11.19 Across The Pond Mailbag

As you may have heard, Merrin was away this weekend in Jolly Old England! Of course, this meant we couldn’t record our podcast, but we didn’t want to leave you hanging — we knew you had some burning questions for us to answer!


Drivingrl Asks:

*pretending the Oleksiak trade didn’t happen*
What’s the best English biscuit? My vote is for dark chocolate Chocolate McVittie’s Digestives.


M: I honestly don’t have a ton of experience with English biscuits? I know I’m in England right at this very moment, but my sister has a sugar sensitivity and doesn’t eat much of it so she doesn’t keep biscuits around. That said, I can pound an entire box of the Walker’s shortbread cookies and I think those are Scottish.

C: I refuse to enjoy English biscuits on the grounds that it’s real biscuit erasure.


Andrew ‘too cool for cali’ L-A ask:

Please revisit all previous casting/baked goods/show tunes questions for Andrew Cogliano.


C: ALL previous casting/baked goods/show tunes questions???? You know we’ve been doing this for FOUR YEARS right? I don’t even remember all those questions.

That said, I feel strongly that Cogs would be a cheddar biscuit.

M: If I were sorting him into a Hogwarts house I’d put him in Gryffindor. If I were casting him in Hamilton, he’d be Ben Franklin. Old, mentioned once, never seen onstage.


Be My Shannytine asks:

1) Do you think Nill will go for a blockbuster trade at the deadline, a smaller trade, or no trade?

2) Which Stars player would you cuddle & binge true crime docs (or show of your choice) with during this polar vortex?


C: To answer the second question first, I  don’t know if there is a blockbuster trade to be made at the deadline this year. If anything, the two “biggest” rental names would be Matt Duchene and Mark Stone. Duchene seems like he’ll potentially get re-signed, but even if he doesn’t I don’t know if Nill would go for him. Stone is likely gone, and I’d love to see him in victory green, but he’s still a winger, and while he would address some of our scoring needs right now, that 2C spot will remain a weakness going into next year.

That said, I do think they’re a lot more comfortable parting with their 1st this season, since the Draft won’t be in Dallas this year.

M: I don’t have an answer that you haven’t covered.

C: as for cuddling… It’s gotta be Jamie, right? Like he earned his nickname.

M: you’ll cuddle with Jamie over my dead body.


Captain Celery asks:

If you could pick any random country in the world for the Stars’ next franchise player to come from, where and why? I’d pick Scotland because I am Scottish and I’d love to see the shit puns NHLdotcom would come up with.


C: oooh, I’d also love to see the “chirps” a Scottish NHL player would come up with. But I’d love to see a Mexican (or Mexican-American) player in Texas.

M: I’d also pick Scotland for the accent and the chirps, but agree that a Mexican player would be baller.

1.29.19 Mailbag

Per our usual schedule, we posted the latest podcast Monday morning. And per the Stars’ usual schedule, they made a trade just hours later. But not just any trade. They sent a 4th round pick (2019) to Pittsburgh for… get this… Jamie Oleksiak. Yes, that Jamie Oleksiak. (And also this Jamie Oleksiak.)

Many of you called for a second podcast, but unfortunately our schedules just don’t align with the workings of the hockey world right now. However, we do have time to answer some of your questions, textually. Just you know, read the answers in our voices or something. It’ll be like a podcast in your head.

So let’s start with the most obvious question.


Lynne asks: Are you guys okay?

C: No, thank you for asking. I’ve been getting shitty sleep, and apparently clenching my jaw, which makes my whole face hurt. Oh, and also my hockey team traded for a guy they traded away last year, because….. A reason?

M: Idk, I’m fine. Like. If there’s anything the last few years have taught me it’s compartmentalization. That’s not healthy, you say? I will tell you that it’s the only way I get through my day. Jamie Oleksiak being in victory green again is shoved behind a door in my brain. Inside that door, I’m screaming. But out here? I’m fine. I’m so fine. I’m the finest. Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

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11.10.15 Mailbag (The One With the NHL Beard Hall of Fame)

As we mentioned on the podcast last week, we’ve gotten TOO many good questions recently – if we answered them all on air, the podcast would be two hours long! So we pulled out the ones we thought needed visual aids and have added them to our mailbag for this week!

Amanda Asked:

[Note: We’ve edited this question for length]

I would like to get the opinions of two Dallas fans who have seen a lot more of Daley than me… I have been excited about Daley since he was traded here! And he was the coolest dude when I met him at the convention. I don’t know if I’m not seeing it because I don’t get a chance to always catch games because of work but [Chicago fans] tweet about him like he is Rundblad levels of bad on defense. But like the last few games his +/- has been positive considering we lost one game 6-5 and tonight’s 4-2.

Stat wise he is, I think, leading the Hawks in %CF and maybe he hasn’t scored any goals but considering he was paired with Rundblad for several games I don’t understand how a person can say he’s awful? Did he get this kind of criticism in Dallas?

C: To be honest, yes, he very much got that kind of criticism in Dallas. He got that kind of criticism from ME.

M: And me.

C: The thing about Daley is that he’s always been a pretty dang good “offensive” defenseman. But too often that leaves the “defenseman” part hanging in the wind. The Stars last year, in general, had some issues with that, but Daley was by far the worst in shots/scoring chances/corsi against of all 8 of our Dmen. Here’s a couple graphs that illustrate where he’s been through the years.

Daley TOIC% v ZS% Daley SCF v SCA

C: As you can see in the first graph, he’s playing much “easier” minutes with the Hawks, and therefore the expectations of him not making mistakes are probably a lot higher. However, the Blackhawks’ overall style seem to be suiting him well, and he’s on the “right” side of the Scoring Chances Against for the first time in the last four years. In conclusion, it’s very rare for any hockey player to be as good OR as bad as twitter says they are.

M: See, for example: Jordie Benn.


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10.27.15 Mailbag! (The One With the Beard-Off)

Last week, we got so many excellent questions for our podcast we couldn’t get to all of them. So of course, we love our readers and didn’t want them to go unanswered, so it’s time for another edition of your favorite segment: THE 2BL MAILBAG!

Anon Asked:

Which hockey players would be the Fellowship of the Ring? Doesn’t have to be just Stars players 🙂

M: Jagr would be Gandalf. He has the right mix of old and still pretty sassy. Connor McDavid is probably Frodo, making Dylan Strome the faithful Samwise. Connor McDavid: “I will take it (the weight of expectation in Edmonton, also their dying hopes of ever getting past the middle in the standings)! Though I do not know the way.”

Merry and Pippin are Tyler and Jamie. Fun-loving goobers who don’t know what they’re getting into until they’re into it. Legolas is Erik Karlsson, the Owl King. (Have you heard the story of him stopping by the side of the road to observe an owl?) (That’s it, that’s the story. Some lucky fan’s mom snapped a pic.)

I know he isn’t bearded, but Andrew Shaw seems like Gimli to me. Short, angry, chip on his shoulder, willing to take on foes in battle that are twice his size, pretty good at winning those battles.

This just leaves Aragorn, once and future king, and Boromir, done in by his desire to keep his people safe. Please understand, when I write my choices, that I thought of these and started laughing uncontrollably in real life. Like, to tears. I’m so happy I’m here to amuse myself. Aragorn is Sidney Crosby and Claude Giroux is Boromir.

C: What she said.


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