Podcast 36: A Disgusting Deconstructed Sundae

EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING! Two days before free agency, the NHL takes leave of their collective senses, Merrin officially says goodbye to the Oilers, Carolyn doesn’t understand any of it, and the entire offseason is just like a disgusting deconstructed sundae.

Supplemental Materials:

This write up by Sports Day Dallas of the various grades given to the Stars draft.

You can check both Defending Big D and Today’s Slap Shot  for write ups about the individual draftees.

5.6.16 SC Playoff Game Recap (I WAS IN MY KITCHEN)

There was nowhere else for me to talk about this, so I’m talking about it here. At 13:06 in the second period of the game last night, I was banished to my kitchen by the internet. I went and I stayed and WE WON so who’s laughing now!?

Why at 13:06? Well, I feel like we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves friends, so let’s go back.

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About Our Name

So we’ve changed our name.

It was brought to our attention last summer that the phrase “bearded lady” has been used as a transphobic slur. At the time, we addressed the person bringing this to our attention by explaining our intentions and what the name meant to us.

To be very clear: this is not how we should have addressed this.

We went on to respond this way to additional people who brought this to our attention.

Yesterday, Andrew Shaw responded to a late penalty call by calling the referee a homophobic slur. In condemning these actions on twitter, it was again brought to our attention that our username has also been used as a slur and we realized we had been part of the problem.

In continuing to use the name, we’d ignored people telling us this name was hurtful. We’d been hypocrites. We’d been part of the majority making hockey fandom an unsafe place for an already incredibly persecuted group.

Please accept our apology. To those we hurt and those we ignored. We promise to be better listeners in the future.

Merrin & Carolyn

Podcast Episode 30 – 2.22.16 (The One With the Birthdays)

With one week before the trade deadline, the Ladies chat about the Stars recent terrible play, where they think Dallas can upgrade, schadenfreude, and how Heather Benn set the standard for Good Hockey Moms everywhere.

You can also find us on iTunes! Please rate & review!

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Two Bearded Ladies Are Going Legit

Hey friends,

Just a quick note here to let you know that Carolyn and I have been invited to become part of the Defending Big D staff of writers. I want to start off by saying we will NOT be closing up shop here, but things are going to be a little different going forward.

We started this blog a little more than a year ago with no idea of where it would go or even what we were doing with it half the time. I remember being really excited when our visitor count broke 50 for the first time. While we’ve reached a pretty wide range of fans through this blog, Defending Big D offers us the opportunity to reach a wider audience with our shenanigans, and we’ve long been a fan of the quality work they do.

We will continue to post things here that don’t fit what DBD is looking for. The podcast will continue uninterrupted and largely unchanged (there will still be an explicit warning on that bad boy, for example, because I have no desire to clean up my potty mouth). We will not be posting nightly game recaps anymore (and we’ve missed the last few games, so we’re sorry about that).

I said this on twitter and I’ll say this here, we’ve been so grateful to the people who read this blog, talked to us on twitter, and sent us questions and tweets and emails. We’ve met some great people over the last year. We hope you stick with us during this transition, and we hope to see you hanging around the DBD forums on our posts (and still sticking around here as well)!

Thanks for everything,

Merrin (and Carolyn!)

12.26.15 Stars v Blues Game Recap (In Ur Barn, Stealin’ a Point)

Well, that was a game last night. There was a lot of good, and a lot of meh, and I came away feeling like we really held our own against another playoff bound team. That said, I was really disappointed that the game went to OT; I really wanted our boys to lock down the points in regulation.

Sorry folks, no glitter today. Loser points don’t get sparkles.

Per usual, all data is 5v5 and score adjusted and from war-on-ice.com unless otherwise noted.


The Good

Colton Sceviour followed up his goal against the Blackhawks with another beautiful one against the Blues. Honestly, you can’t ask for a prettier goal against a hot goalie. Once deemed the unluckiest man on the Stars (by yours truly), Scevs is starting to find the back of the net again, and that’s awesome.

Yes, I know the “goals” section is later, but I’m trying to celebrate what went “Right” about that game.

  • Side Note: I’ll reserve that for the shootout. Spezza’s goal deserves its own section.


The second best thing about this game was Kevin Shattenkirk’s game-saving stick. Listen, I wanted the Stars to win more than anyone, but honestly, this kind of shit is like why we watch hockey in the first place.


Niemi was once again fantastic, which begs the question: who starts tonight?


The Más o Menos

Unlike that 3-0 thrashing that happened last time these two teams met, the Stars actually stuck to their guns. The first period was some of the best defensive hockey they’ve played all year, and they did a great job on the counter attack.

  • Side Note: Overall, the Blues only hit about 38.2 Fenwick For per 60 (FF60), which is slightly under league average (38.8), and definitely under what they’ve been averaging so far this year (41.2).
  • Side Note 2: The problem is that the Stars only averaged 31.9 FF60, and they usually average 43. So that…was..a thing.
  • Side Note 3: Both teams had about the same number of high danger scoring chances per 60 (Dallas with 7.3, Blues at 6.9) which means both teams did really well at defending the crease.


Jamie Benn scored in the shoot out! Tyler Seguin did not! Everything is opposite!


The Bad

12.26 v STL Game Chart

We got CREAMED in possession numbers. A lot of this happened in the second period, when the Blues took advantage of some extended zone time to get a lot of shots off.

But if we’re honest, the most damning thing on this chart is that Seguin, Benn and Sharp had the absolute best puck possession numbers on the team, but had only 2 5v5 scoring chances between the three of them.

  • Side Note: Yes, obviously Tyler scored a goal, but it wasn’t from what’s considered a “dangerous area” and honestly Allen should’ve had that. Scoring chances are slightly more likely to become goals than shots from the perimeter, which is why teams focus on them.
  • Side Note 2: For perspective, in the game against Chicago, the trio had 5 scoring chances, and even against CBJ, where Seguin & Benn were the two worst possession players on the team, they put up 6 scoring chances. To win games against teams like the Blues, that top line can’t let themselves be pushed to the outside.


To top all that off, the team took FOUR penalties, giving up one power play goal, and then failed to capitalize on the only power play they received. While I wasn’t a big fan of the reffing in that game (hey Tim Peel, I see you), the Stars aren’t going to win unless their special teams are firing on all cylinders. 10 minutes of special teams gameplay is the same as half a period. It needs to be treated like half a period.


Giving up that goal with less than two minutes left was crushing. With how well we’d been blocking shots and getting in lanes all game it was just…RAR!!!!!!!!! I hate the Blues. I hate that we’re playing them 5 times this year. I hate that we’re playing them TONIGHT.


Goals on Goals – Shootout Style