Let Me Tell You About My Aesthetic – Defense and Goaltenders

Said one fan girl to another fan girl, “Man, I love his puck possession AND his face.” (Spoilers, that fan girl was me.) (I might have been talking about Jamie Benn.)

Said the other fan girl back to me, “I frickin’ know, right!?” (That fan girl was my friend Steph.) (She was talking about Curtis McKenzie.)

And then CAROLYN burst in and yelled, “BUT WHAT ABOUT JORDIE BENN.” 

Well Carolyn, I’m so glad you asked.

We’ve looked at our bottom six forwards, and we started the series off with our top six forwards. Today, we’re looking at our defense and goalies.

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Let Me Tell You About My Aesthetic – Bottom Six Forwards

Said one fan girl to another fan girl, “Man, I love his puck possession AND his face.” (Spoilers, that fan girl was me.) (I might have been talking about Jamie Benn.)

Said the other fan girl back to me, “I frickin’ know, right!?” (That fan girl was my friend Steph.) (She was talking about Curtis McKenzie.)*

Last week I introduced you to 2BL’s metric for measuring the hotness aesthetic of hockey players and took a look at how the Stars’ top six forwards measured up. (Top six here, since there was some confusion on twitter, does not mean in looks. I’m talking about roster position. Clearly Patrick Eaves would be top 4 in a hotness roster, y’all.)

Let Me Tell You About My Aesthetic – Top Six Forwards

Said one fan girl to another fan girl, “Man, I love his puck possession AND his face.” (Spoilers, that fan girl was me.) (I might have been talking about Jamie Benn.)

As the “I’m in this for the fun and the jokes and the occasional rant” side of 2BL, when the subject of graphing the attractiveness of our players came up (we might have been drinking but honestly probably not) I jumped all over the chance to bust out my colored pens. Fake graphs about hot men? I’M ALL OVER THIS LIKE . . . SOMETHING ON SOMETHING ELSE.

Then I sat down to look at exactly how to frame this, and ended up assigning metrics anyway. Hey! Actual stats ftw! (Subjective stats in categories I’ve only recently made up, I’m like an actual statistician now.)