10.27.15 Stars vs Ducks (F*ck You Very Very Much)

Spoiler alert: this recap is going to be completely devoid of any semblance of chill.

YOU GUYS WE WONNNNN AGAINST THE DUCKS. WINNING MEANS MORE AGAINST THE DUCKS. EVEN THESE DUCKS WHO CAN’T SEEM TO BUY A WIN AT WAL-MART. WHY? BECAUSE THEY’RE THE WORST, THAT’S WHY. BECAUSE COREY PERRY SHOULD NEVER FEEL JOY.

Here’s your Carolyn-provided game chart:

10.27 v ANA Game Chart

All numbers are 5v5, score adjusted. The Stars ended the game with 54% CF, which is IMPRESSIVE considering they were significantly outpossessed in the first (33%) and second (39%). Read More »

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4.8.15 – Stars vs Ducks Game Recap (Stars Be Clippin’ Bird Wings)

WE WONNNNNNNN. Look I know we’re eliminated from the playoffs and these wins don’t do us any good in the standings but FRICK Y’ALL I would rather see them go out with a bang than a whimper.

AND WHAT AN EMPHATIC BANG.

Yeah I’m gonna stop using euphemisms for sex now. I was so prepared for vitriol and hate for the Ducks and their stupid faces and their stupid jerseys and their stupid win/domination of possession/shots on goal (look I always prepare for the worst, I’m terrible) that I literally don’t know what to write about now that we’ve won.

OH YEAH JAMIE BENN.

But first, a chart.

4.8 Stars vs ANA Corsi_ZSO

Numbers from waronice.com, 5v5, score adjusted. Please notice, if you will, Ryan “Please Don’t Trade Me” Garbutt at the top, along with Trevor “I’m Only Here Because the Ducks Weren’t Trying” Daley. John Klingberg a surprising second to last, but when all of the Stars were this dominant in possession, it’s forgiven.

Also, Merrin Eye Test: the Ducks really, really weren’t trying. They weren’t trying so hard that by the end of the game, the N B C BROADCAST WAS TALKING MORE ABOUT THE STARS. AND. YOU KNOW. GETTING THEIR NAMES RIGHT.

It was a banner evening all around.Read More »

3.1.15 – Stars vs Ducks Game Recap (Who Cares About the Game Don’t Trade For Phaneuf)

Stars losing streak extends to six. Jamie didn’t get any points at all. Corey Perry had a multiple point game. Did I miss any other low points?

I’m trying to think of a team I hate more than the Ducks and I’m drawing blanks. I knew this game was gonna be bad so I started the evening off right.

(Spoilers: it didn’t really help.)

ALSO THIS GAME WAS ON NBC. I don’t know why I keep doing the recaps for the games that end up being on NBC, but here we go again. Except, as the first period started, I heard the heavenly tones of Daryl Reaugh between the glass, and therefore was not treated to any heavy handed slavering Ducks bullshit as the game went on. Bless you, Razor. Bless you.Read More »