11.1.16 Mailbag (The Podcast Overflow One)

Well friends, we put out a call for podcast questions yesterday and got a truly overwhelming number of responses. Which, by the way, is a GREAT problem to have. These are the questions that we felt worked better in written form, or we just weren’t prepared to answer last night.

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10.27.15 Mailbag! (The One With the Beard-Off)

Last week, we got so many excellent questions for our podcast we couldn’t get to all of them. So of course, we love our readers and didn’t want them to go unanswered, so it’s time for another edition of your favorite segment: THE 2BL MAILBAG!

Anon Asked:

Which hockey players would be the Fellowship of the Ring? Doesn’t have to be just Stars players 🙂

M: Jagr would be Gandalf. He has the right mix of old and still pretty sassy. Connor McDavid is probably Frodo, making Dylan Strome the faithful Samwise. Connor McDavid: “I will take it (the weight of expectation in Edmonton, also their dying hopes of ever getting past the middle in the standings)! Though I do not know the way.”

Merry and Pippin are Tyler and Jamie. Fun-loving goobers who don’t know what they’re getting into until they’re into it. Legolas is Erik Karlsson, the Owl King. (Have you heard the story of him stopping by the side of the road to observe an owl?) (That’s it, that’s the story. Some lucky fan’s mom snapped a pic.)

I know he isn’t bearded, but Andrew Shaw seems like Gimli to me. Short, angry, chip on his shoulder, willing to take on foes in battle that are twice his size, pretty good at winning those battles.

This just leaves Aragorn, once and future king, and Boromir, done in by his desire to keep his people safe. Please understand, when I write my choices, that I thought of these and started laughing uncontrollably in real life. Like, to tears. I’m so happy I’m here to amuse myself. Aragorn is Sidney Crosby and Claude Giroux is Boromir.

C: What she said.


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9.30.15 Mailbag (The Ladies Weigh in on the Hot Dog/Sandwich Debate)

The season is drawing ever nearer, which means we, the Ladies, have reached the “frothing at the mouth” stage of anticipation. While we know our readers aren’t always as ravening as we are, we figured now would be a good time to bring back the 2BL Mailbag, just in case you had burning questions about the upcoming season.

Anonymous Asked:

Who do you guys think will be beside Jomoo Bonn and Toloor Sogoon? I’m hoping it will be Potrock Shorp.

C: I laughed until I cried when we got this question. I completely forgot about this joke. Oh man.

M: I think it was the first time I fell off the now sadly deflated exercise ball, so I don’t forget this one. Jomoo Bonn ahahahahaha.

C: As for actual lines, yes, it looks definitely like Potrock Shorp (teeheeeeeee) will be joining the wondertwins.

M: As Merrin predicted in the beginning of the summer, Carolyn shot down, and then Lindy Ruff confirmed. Or, Morron (HOW DID I NEVER DO THIS BEFORE) Corolon, and Londo Roff.

C: Londo Roff!!!! It’s like a Star Wars name.

M: I was literally making this joke at exactly the same time. GREAT MINDS.

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Mailbag: Vote Goligoski/Campbell — Defense You Can Believe In

Well friends, we’re out but not down. (Of the playoffs, that is.) We hope you’ve enjoyed the Bearded Ladies branching out to cover more of the hockey world in the post season, but here we are returning to our Stars roots with this week’s mailbag!

@komnumep asks: @beardiestladies coaching changes – do you foresee any? Think any are necessary? Will/should Lindy stay? there seem to be several available coaches atm and I’ve seen some fans suggest Lindy isn’t the best fit

C: I think there are a lot of fans super upset we missed the playoffs and demanding blood. I highly doubt that Lindy will be fired (even if Babcock becomes available) because after December, his philosophy did really start to take hold. The Stars were one of the hardest teams to beat throughout March, and our biggest issue, the defense, became a huge asset. I’m not saying that any of these other coaches can’t also do a good job with this team – maybe even better – but based on Lindy’s performance this year, I highly doubt that he’s going to be out of a job come summer.

M: Plus, even if Babcock becomes available, there’s absolutely no guarantee the Stars would be able to pay his asking price (which is reportedly going to be ridiculous) (by normal person standards, I mean). Lindy’s in his second year and he actually got this team into the playoffs last year. This year they had a better record, actually, but unfortunately the rest of the West did too. Can’t blame bad goaltending on him, and he was correctly able to identify problem spots and make adjustments. He’s a good coach, I don’t think changes are necessary. The GOALIE coach, however, should definitely go. I know we defended him on an earlier podcast this year, but that was before either of us realized he’s also the goalie SCOUT, and a lot of blame for our backup woes can be placed firmly on his doorstep.

C: And with some excellent goalie coaches (Jeff Reese) out of work, that’s one change that is very likely.

M: So long, Mike Valley. Miss you never.

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4.10.15 Mailbag (An Homage To Sophie’s Choice)

It’s Friday, so we’re in love….WITH READER QUESTIONS! WOO! Today we’ve got an especially long mailbag since we won’t be taking reader questions for the podcast. (Don’t worry, we’ve got something fun planned instead).

Anon asked:

Give me reasons as to why I should like Antoine Roussel/why I should think that he’s good for the Stars (bonus points if it’s stats-related), because he’s not my fave person, and I want to change that, if only a bit.


M: I’m not a lot of help, unfortunately. I’m not a fan of some of the more emotional mistakes and/or penalties he takes, which is my biggest complaint re: Ryan Garbutt as well. There isn’t really a place for reckless, injurious play in the NHL. Or there is, I guess, because this shit happens every day, but there shouldn’t be.

If you really want a reason to like him though, I’ve met him once and he was really awesome. The person I was standing in the line with handed him a bag of home baked muffins and after a few seconds of “I’m holding coffee in one hand and your marker in the other” he smiled and took the muffins and was actually hella cool about it. I’ve also heard that he’s fun in the locker room, and that all the guys like him. Idek if that’s enough for you, it isn’t really enough for me.


C: DID SOMEONE ASK FOR STATS? I’m a self parody. I know. It’s cool.

Anyway, I think when you’re looking at Roussel from a stat perspective you have to look at what he contributes to a team and how you’d have to fill the hole if he weren’t there. He’s a bottom 6 forward and expected to handle a large defensive responsibility. Using @mannyelk‘s similarity calculator which can be found here, there are 3 other players this year who are used similarly: Joel Ward, Andrew Cogliano, and Lars Eller. I also decided to throw in Andrew Shaw, as he’s a well known fighter, but not an enforcer type, much like Rooster.

4.8 Roussel Compares Chart

Over the last three years, Roussel has started more in the defensive zone than any of those compares (x axis), against similar quality of competition (y axis), and has put up the same number of points per 60 as Ward and Cogliano, and more than Eller & Shaw (size of dot). His one weakness is Corsi For % (color, yes the dots are faintly colored), but at 50%, that’s better than a lot of defensive players.

The really big reason to like Roussel: his salary. Roussel makes $1.6m/yr to Eller’s $2.5m, Cogliano’s $2.7m, and Ward’s $3m. And he’s only 24, which means he has plenty of time to improve his game possession wise.

And he’s French. I have a particular fondness for the French.


M: Well there you go, anon. Like him because we don’t pay him much and he certainly isn’t detracting from our roster.


Anon Asked:

Mailbag question! Who are your favorite players in the NHL and why?


M: Jamie Benn. JAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIE BEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN. No but really, I like Jamie Benn an awful lot. I can’t even describe this in ways that don’t sound dirty, but he’s a big power forward that knows how to use his body AND his (hockey) stick. He can throw checks and not injure people, and then blow through your entire defense to find the back of the net. Not to mention the times this year he has literally thrown the entire team on his back and dragged them to victory.

Scott Darling is a favorite, both because of his save % and his beard. Also that time I met him in the stands in San Antonio and he was so genuine and excited. Also it’s hard to not root for someone who is doing such an excellent job at fighting his own demons.

Skill-wise, I love watching Sidney Crosby and Patrick Kane move the puck. The things they do with it sometimes are just amazing.


C: Gosh, this is hard. Most of my “favorites” tend to be emotional or thirst driven choices, with not a lot of great hockey to be had (cough Fake Hockey Boyfriend Brandon Bollig cough).

That said, if I had to pick one player, it would be Jonathan Toews every day of the week. Not only can he score, but he’s such an excellent defensive player that he’s a threat on any part of the ice. Not to mention, he’s the kind of guy who can win games by will alone (much like our Jamie Benn).

I have a ton of players I enjoy watching play hockey, and they tend to be the faster, more skilled players, like Patrick Kane, Tyler Seguin, and Pavel Datsyuk. I just sit back and watch, jaw dropped, at how freaking good these guys are at moving the puck. Seguin is the cornerstone and namesake of my fantasy hockey team, the real one, not the fantasy team, and is half the reason I got suckered into cheering for the Stars, so I’ll have to go with him as my number 2.


Anon Asked:

Would you mind talking about/explaining the draft & draft lottery.


M: Draft lottery: the bottom 14 teams are put into a big bowl, basically. The number of times their names are dropped into this bowl is dependent on where they finished in the regular season. Bottom team gets their name the most number of times, second to last the second most number of times, on down to number 14. So you have a greater chance of winning the lottery the lower you are in points after the season is done.

The winner of the draft lottery picks first. The rest of the order is determined by points. Bottom three in the league are currently Buffalo (last), Arizona, and Edmonton. If the Devils, say, win the draft lottery, Devils pick first, then Buff, Ari, and Edm.

The remaining sixteen teams go in order of who lost in the playoffs first. Stanley Cup winner always goes 30th, team who loses first in the playoffs will go 15th, after the 14 teams that didn’t make it.

Complicating matters is always going to be teams that have traded picks, like the Penguins this year. They traded their first round pick to the Oilers. The assumption was that they’d make the playoffs and it would be a late pick, but the Penguins have been garbage going down the stretch, and there’s a chance they miss. If they do, they get entered into the lottery. If they don’t win the lottery, the pick will still be pretty late, because the Penguins aren’t going to drop much in the standings from their current playoff position. However, there’s still a 1-2% chance they win the lottery, which would give Edmonton the first overall pick.

Also, in the 2016 lottery the first THREE picks are going to be determined by lottery, so the worst team in the league will no longer be guaranteed at least the second overall pick.

Draft itself goes over two days. I’m pretty sure it’s the 1st and 2nd rounds on the first night, and then the rest of them the next day. Each team gets a specific amount of time (longer in the first rounds, shorter in the later) to go up to the stage and announce their pick.

It’s on TV, anon, so if you get the opportunity to watch it, you should. The first round is kinda fun, that’s the one where they always show the kid coming down to the stage and putting the jersey and hat on to take the pics with the brass from the team. Also occasionally you will get the excitement of Gary Bettman coming to the podium to say “we have a trade to announce” and then the gut clenching terror that it’s someone you care about. I still remember watching the 2013 draft when they announced the Cory Schneider trade, which NO ONE saw coming.


C: I have nothing to add, but here’s a really great graph of where everyone’s at percent-wise, for the first round pick. Assuming they don’t win the lottery, Dallas is expected to pick 12th.

4.10 1st overall pick


@jrho_jrho asks:

What if we win the draft lottery? (we should totally take noah hanifin)


C: So the rankings just came out the other day and unsurprisingly, Conner McDavid was #1 with Jack Eichel as #2. I had no idea who Noah Hanifin was but he was #3, so I looked him up. He calls himself an “offensive dman” who models his game after Duncan Keith. All of these words are things the Stars really love/need, so I see where you’re coming from in your Hanifin adoration, but….

You can’t not draft McDavid. You just can’t. You can’t leave him on the table, even if it would mean we would have ridiculous depth at center (Seguin, Spezza, Eakin, Fiddler, and Horcoff is a natural center, too, assuming he’s resigned). Taking McDavid would give the Stars SO MANY options – do they save Horcoff’s salary and not resign him, do they draft McDavid and flip him for an Elite Goaltender (we’ll give you Kari & McDavid, you give us Carey Price and I dunno, Gallagher? Some winger.) (this trade would never happen) (probably). Anyway, my point is that having McDavid would give the Stars a lot of leverage they weren’t expecting within the league, and could really change the landscape of their trading abilities.


M: We should take Noah Hanifin. (jk idek who that is.)


keriarentikai asked:

Now that the Stars are out, who are you rooting for in the playoffs? And what do you think of the first round matchups (assuming they’re set by the time you answer this)?


C: Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you’re part of #teamchaos), match ups seem to be still in the air, so I think we can revisit that part of the question next week.

But who am I rooting for? Well, in the East, I was rooting for the Red Wings, so we could get our 3rd round pick back, but then they went and broke Erik Cole. Since he’s out for the rest of the year with a spinal contusion, I’m shifting my loyalties to….god, I don’t even care. The Sens if they make it? I dislike the East a lot. No, dislike is too strong a word. I’m severely apathetic about the Eastern Conference. I say Sens if they make it, Rangers if they don’t, because I think King Henry deserves a cup.

Blackhawks in the West, of course. (Though, the Flames will have my eternal gratitude for eliminating the Kings last night, mwhahahahahaha).


M: Yeah, matchups could potentially change my predictions.

If the Blackhawks make the SCF, I’m rooting for a rival for them that I don’t give a shit about now, so I can safely hate them. Like, it’s all well and good that I say I want the Rangers to win all the things, because I really like Marc Staal (I have his shirsey!) and Captain America Ryan McDonagh. But I LOVE the Hawks, and if it comes down to those two teams it’s gonna break my heart to wish sadness upon the Rangers. There is also the possibility that my friend Monica will never speak to me again. (Or at least, not about hockey.) If the Hawks don’t make the SCF (I don’t believe that’s happening, because I can’t believe that’s happening, but IF IT DOES), then Rangers for the Cup.

BUT HAWKS FOR THE CUP. Now that the Stars are out I hope the Hawks just kick everyone’s ass forever. Though I wouldn’t mind if the Wild make a good run, as long as it isn’t to the Hawks detriment. I want good things for Devan Dubnyk.


@iamjulesarch asked:

Which Stars do you see leaving the org this summer?


M: Carolyn and I have been talking about this for a while. On the table for a trade this summer, I could see a lot of players, actually. Sceviour, Garbutt, Daley, Oleksiak . . . maaaaybe Hemsky? Who actually gets moved? It would depend on what we get in return. I could see them packaging Daley with someone to move for a #1 Defenseman. Other than this last game, his possession numbers are terrible and he drags his d-partner along with him.

That said, Jim Nill is wily and in possession of knowledge I certainly don’t have.


C: A lot of who gets moved depends on what another team needs, and I really don’t have a good enough understanding of other teams to really say with certainty “Oh, 8 teams in the east need a speedy Dman who can improve their powerplay, so Daley’s gone.”

Now, people I think we’re willing to part with are pretty much Merrin’s list above with a few additions: Sceviour, Garbutt, Daley, Oleksiak, Jokipakka, Roussel, maybe even McKenzie or BRBR if the trade was right (Seabrook). I’ve heard a lot of people ask about trading Jordie in the offseason, and while I think it’s possible, it’s definitely more likely to be a “If another team requests him” than us actively shopping him. Also with Oleksiak and Jokipakka (JJ in particular) being of similar talent potential (or greater) and so much younger, I find it hard to believe they wouldn’t be the first choice in Dmen for a team looking for a 2-3 pairing guy. I also don’t see Hemsky getting moved, as we can pretty easily carry his cap hit (Cole was making the same amount, actually), and he hasn’t had a great season. We’d definitely have to sell low, buy high on his contract, and Nill is better than that.

As far as UFAs, I don’t think we’ll see Enroth back this summer – there hasn’t been a lot of rumblings about “trying to reach a deal” that you normally hear about UFAs teams want to resign. It could be Enroth saying no, honestly, given that he went from a starter job to a backup job, and other teams *cough*Arizona*cough* will be looking for someone cheap-ish who can play half a season. That said, I wouldn’t be upset if he did resign with us. Since breaking the backup curse, Enroth has been fantastic in net, and hopefully that would carry over to next season.

I would love to see Eaves and Horcoff back this summer, but Eaves might follow the money? He’s had a great season, and definitely deserves more than his $650k current salary. I think he likes playing for Nill, and obviously has benefited from being on the Bennguin line, so there’s a good chance he sticks in Dallas. I think Horcoff is a lock to stay unless something really wacky happens.

Nemeth, Klingbae, and JJ are all RFAs this summer, and there’s no chance Nill doesn’t extend qualifying offers.


Anonymous said:

Who do you guys think is the better overall player ; Tyler Seguin or Jamie Benn?


C: Ugh, why would you ask us this!?!? So rude.

But for real, this is a really difficult question because I don’t know what you mean by Better? Statistically, they’re very similar since they’ve been playing together. In fact, here’s their dCorsi – a measure of impact that weights their usage against what is “expected” from someone in that position.

4.9 Bennguin dCorsi

As you can see, their impact has been about the same this season, with Jamie slightly higher. I mean, they play together 95% of the time (barring injury). They’re both players who have proven they can hold their own. They both take faceoffs, they both are working on their defensive game. Jamie leads the team in short handed goals, while Tyler leads the team in power play scoring (yes, even after 3 weeks out this season).

And frankly, we probably wouldn’t be asking this question if the Seguin trade had never happened. These two have such an insane chemistry on-ice that their legacy is going to be talked about for years. So I think there’s really only one answer.


M:both is good

Mailbag: Friends Don’t Let Friends Watch the Flyers

Mail time, mail time, maaaail time! Here’s the mail it never fails, it makes me wanna wag my tail, when it comes I wanna wail: MAAAAAAAAAAAAIL. Eh? Eh?? (I have spent way too much time babysitting in my life.)

Another Two Bearded Ladies mailbag! Thanks to everyone who sent in questions. We love you!

Anonymous asked:

If y’all could have any players from any time period to make a starting line up, who would you pick and why?

C: This is the question from our podcast that I couldn’t answer then, and I have to confess I don’t have a much better answer now. I mean, first, are you trying to assemble the “winningest” starting line up? Or just your favorite players from each position? I’m assuming they’re all at the height of their careers.

My picks come from a place of curiosity, really. I’m a relatively new hockey fan, and none of my family watched hockey, so I don’t have any context for a lot of the older players. After reading this article on the Player’s Tribune (and of course, having watched Miracle like 80 billion times) I’m really kind of sad I missed out on watching Soviet hockey, so I’d have to throw in at least one of those guys – Kharlamov probably. Then put Gretzky at Center because, well, you have to. And honestly, I’d probably put Patrick Kane at right wing because HOW FUN WOULD THAT BE??? (if you haven’t seen the new Go Pro video yet, you need to go right now).

I’d love to see Zubov play, because this is a Stars blog and I feel I need to know what the fuss is about more than just watching highlight reels on youtube. And for my other defenseman…Klingberg. Because they get compared a lot, and it’d be cool to see if they really are as similar as people say.

And thennnnnnn…Jacques Plante in net. Because why not. He’s an icon.

M: My issues are Carolyn’s issues, honestly. I just watched Red Army on Tuesday night (GO SEE IT IMMEDIATELY IT’S AMAZING), and I’d honestly really love to watch that reunited Russian line that took the Red Wings to back-to-back Stanley Cup wins in the 90s. Like all five of them.

That said! My picks will also be coming from a place of curiosity. I’ve heard enough about Paul Kariya to know that I’d like to have seen him play, so we’ll put him at left wing. Center is gonna have to be Wayne Gretzky because. Well. It just is. Gordie Howe at right wing in hopes that he gets his own hat trick.

On defense, Tim Horton so I can tell him his donuts are delicioius, especially those maple ones, and Bobby Orr, because one of the things I do remember from hockey before I actually followed it (along with Wayne Gretzky) is that picture of him flying across the ice after he scored the Stanley Cup winning goal. Plus every time I google him I’m linked to a million articles about how he revolutionized the defensive position, and who wouldn’t want to see that in action?

I have no idea how any of these people would play together, obviously.

In net I’d like to see Jim Craig, because sometimes I root for USA hockey. (Just not when they’re playing against Jamie Benn.)

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