5.6.16 SC Playoff Game Recap (I WAS IN MY KITCHEN)

There was nowhere else for me to talk about this, so I’m talking about it here. At 13:06 in the second period of the game last night, I was banished to my kitchen by the internet. I went and I stayed and WE WON so who’s laughing now!?

Why at 13:06? Well, I feel like we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves friends, so let’s go back.

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11.19.15 Stars vs Capitals Game Recap (You Want a Milestone? How About You?)

YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. YOU GUUUUUUUYYYYYYYYYYS.

THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED THE ENTIRE TIME I’VE BEEN CHEERING FOR THIS DAMN TEAM. I AM SO HAPPY. THE PLANETS ARE ALL ALIGNED. JASON SPEZZA WAS BORN UNDER A RISING STAR. Read More »

10.24.15 Stars vs Panthers Game Recap (I Know We Can’t Win Them All But We Could Try Harder)

Allegedly, a game was played last night up in Dallas. I say allegedly because I was not a first hand witness, as I should have been, both because I’ve been sick and because of Hurricane Patricia dumping half the Pacific Ocean on all of Texas. But heeeey, at least my tickets sold fairly quickly.

This alleged game began with a warm up featuring the Stars roster as tulips for their annual Hockey Fights Cancer Night:

I mean you tell me.

source: grilledcheesbyisreal

Bekki Nill, wife of Jim Nill, who is currently undergoing treatment for cancer, dropped the puck before the game.

Also please feel free to watch that The Franchise video, because it features Julie Dobbs interviewing Bekki Nill and telling her what an inspiration she’s been and it gave us a lot of feelings.

NOW ABOUT THE GAME.Read More »

Let Me Tell You About My Aesthetic – Defense and Goaltenders

Said one fan girl to another fan girl, “Man, I love his puck possession AND his face.” (Spoilers, that fan girl was me.) (I might have been talking about Jamie Benn.)

Said the other fan girl back to me, “I frickin’ know, right!?” (That fan girl was my friend Steph.) (She was talking about Curtis McKenzie.)

And then CAROLYN burst in and yelled, “BUT WHAT ABOUT JORDIE BENN.” 

Well Carolyn, I’m so glad you asked.

We’ve looked at our bottom six forwards, and we started the series off with our top six forwards. Today, we’re looking at our defense and goalies.Read More »

Let Me Tell You About My Aesthetic – Bottom Six Forwards

Said one fan girl to another fan girl, “Man, I love his puck possession AND his face.” (Spoilers, that fan girl was me.) (I might have been talking about Jamie Benn.)

Said the other fan girl back to me, “I frickin’ know, right!?” (That fan girl was my friend Steph.) (She was talking about Curtis McKenzie.)*

Last week I introduced you to 2BL’s metric for measuring the hotness aesthetic of hockey players and took a look at how the Stars’ top six forwards measured up. (Top six here, since there was some confusion on twitter, does not mean in looks. I’m talking about roster position. Clearly Patrick Eaves would be top 4 in a hotness roster, y’all.)Read More »

Let Me Tell You About My Aesthetic – Top Six Forwards

Said one fan girl to another fan girl, “Man, I love his puck possession AND his face.” (Spoilers, that fan girl was me.) (I might have been talking about Jamie Benn.)

As the “I’m in this for the fun and the jokes and the occasional rant” side of 2BL, when the subject of graphing the attractiveness of our players came up (we might have been drinking but honestly probably not) I jumped all over the chance to bust out my colored pens. Fake graphs about hot men? I’M ALL OVER THIS LIKE . . . SOMETHING ON SOMETHING ELSE.

Then I sat down to look at exactly how to frame this, and ended up assigning metrics anyway. Hey! Actual stats ftw! (Subjective stats in categories I’ve only recently made up, I’m like an actual statistician now.) Read More »