Everyone Loves a Good Training Montage – Pacific Division

Previously on Everyone Loves a Good Training Montage: Central Division, Atlantic Divison, and Metro Division.

I’m sad we’ve already done the Central now. Can I just repost that one? With my final joke on the Oilers tacked on at the end? No?

The hatred for the West that I mentioned last time is pretty skewed toward this division. I’ve made no secret of my distaste for the Kings in specific, so I make no apologies for these musical choices. In fact, here’s a bonus song I’m dedicating to this division (except for you Oilers, but you almost don’t count.):

Anyway. On to the list.

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Everyone Loves a Good Training Montage – Central Division

Previously on Everyone Loves a Good Training Montage: Atlantic Division, Metropolitan Division

Moving on to everyone’s favorite division: CENTRAL. I say I have a #WesternBias like that means I don’t have a burning hatred for more teams in the West than I do in the East. The issue with the East is that I basically don’t know enough about those teams, while in the West I know enough to absolutely loathe some of them.

So yay! This should be fun!Read More »

Everyone Loves a Good Training Montage – Atlantic Division

Previously on Everyone Loves a Good Training Montage: Metropolitan Division

You’ve heard of the #EastCoastBias, I’m assuming. My east coast bias is that I don’t generally pay attention to them unless a) they’re playing my team or b) something disastrous happens. Sure, I’ve got warm fuzzies for Sidney Crosby (like the rest of the world, unless you play him often) and I pay attention to how the guys on my fantasy team are doing (go Ben Bishop!!!) but other than that, I basically only file enough information away to make fun of them later.

With that in mind, we move on from the Neapolitan Division to the other half of the Eastern Conference.Read More »

Everyone Loves a Good Training Montage – Metropolitan Division

There’s really only one reason people even watch sports themed movies, right? It’s that great theme of the triumph of the human spirit.

No, it’s not. It’s training montages. Well, it’s probably training montage and that tearjerker inspirational speech the coach gives in the locker room when they’re x number of points down and only x number of minutes from making history. So there’s two things everyone loves about sports movies.

I first fell in love with them watching Mighty Ducks as a kid. Taking that rag tag group of children and forcing them to pick up trash near the net, tying them together at center ice, sending them screaming and whooping about whatever town that was supposed to be set in on roller blades to build up their stamina. I love a good montage because a) they skip over the boring parts where the coach explains why they’re doing the stupid thing and just shows them doing the stupid thing and b) the bitchin’ music.

With that in mind, during this hockeyless time while everyone watches skills competitions on the NHL network, I’ve come up with a training montage suggestion for every team that I will be sharing over the next four days, going coast-to-coast by division.Read More »