Podcast 40: Show me the money

In this episode, Carolyn & Merrin discuss Tyler Seguin’s high school reunion, break down the messy World Cup origin story, get themselves get perma-banned from Canada, and the Flamingos are full of disappointment.


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Guest Post: Texas Sled Hockey Bringing Dreams of New League to Life

Contributed by Taylor Lipsett/@usasledsniper7 – check out our guest contributors page for beard and bio.

SWAA poster

This coming weekend, the Dallas Stars Sled Hockey Team is hosting a a big charity game to help them raise funds to participate in the brand new Texas Sled Hockey League composed of teams from Dallas, Austin, and Houston. Not only will you get to see some of the nation’s best sled hockey players in action, but Tyler Seguin and Jordie Benn, as well as Dallas Stars Alumni President Bob Bassen will be there, showing off their sled hockey “skills”. 

The Dallas program provides the opportunity to play sled hockey to local disabled kids, adults, and veterans, totally free of charge. The program raises funds to pay for all of the necessary equipment, ice time, and as much of the travel expenses as they can for their players to travel and compete. Ice time for practices run the team $1,200 a month and the projected cost to host a “league weekend,” where each team will travel to play each other in one of the cities, is around $2,500, which for a brand new league like ours, is a ton of money

But what is Sled Hockey? Why should you care about sled hockey in this great state?

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7.7.15 Podcast (The One With the Laugh Track)

In this Super Sized Free Agency Podcast Special (with Bonus Laugh Track), the Ladies get an eyeful of Tyler Seguin, discuss the Stars’ Draft, dissect the “interesting” moves of Free Agency, and our readers ask us serious questions?????

You can also find us on iTunes! Please rate & review if you have a second!

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6.23.15 Podcast Episode 14 (The One with All the Nudity)

The Ladies discuss Tyler Seguin, nudist, give a nod to the two big topics in hockey today, the Awards and the Draft, and ask for your help in solving a serious debate.

We can also be found on iTunes! If you have a second please rate & review!

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Tyler Seguin’s Face Might Actually Be Made of Silly Putty

Let’s just say he’s pretty excellent at manipulating his own facial features. If you’ve watched any video of Tyler Seguin at all, you’ve probably noticed that he’s one of the more expressive faces in the NHL today. If you haven’t noticed that, well. I don’t know what to do with you.

Why this post then? Face appreciation, partly. (Listen, we appreciate his face.) But we’re mostly in this for reaction gifs, for those times in a twitter conversation when you’re beyond speech, and only Tyler’s face will really do. We provide this example:

For this reason, we present the following gifs, helpfully broken up (in no particular order) by the situations in which you’d use the gifs.


source: fourthline

source: fucale

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Podcast Episode 3 – 1.20.15 (The Bonus One!)

This episode we provide hot takes on Tyler Seguin vs the Boston Media, Jamie Benn’s recent play, why we think hockey players are kind of dumb sometimes, and Carolyn gets long-winded about hitting. You know, the usual.

Extras from the Podcast:

Normal-ish Story on Tyler Seguin and the Great Boston Break Up

The “I Don’t Need Him Anymore (But I Do Miss His Abs)” Story

The “How DARE He Look That Good Without Me, I’m Over It I Swear, Why Am I Crying” Story

Update: I looked it up, and Brent Seabrook’s contract is currently 5 mil through next season, and Phaneuf is 8mil currently, going down to 7mil over the next three years

Update 2: Have some charts that show that hitting doesn’t correlate with possession (and possession is the only stat so far that correlates with winning). CF% in these charts is all skating situations, score adjusted. 2013-14 is the best graph as that was a full season. 12-13 only had 48 games, current season has 46-47 for most teams.

Hits v CF 12-13 Hits v CF 13-14 Hits v CF 14-15

Other Extras You Should Read

High Heels, High Sticks is running a great series that’s filling NHL teams’ needs with women. What do you think of their suggestion for the Stars?

Last Night’s Game Chart

So grain of salt here, Cole went out early in the game and the 2nd line had to be filled by someone else, mostly Horcoff, though I believe Seguin took a few shifts with them. Also, as we know, these numbers are 5v5, and we had a lot of (ineffective) PP time. Not to mention, while the Stars’s final possession number ended up at 56%, we were actually losing the 5v5 battle through the second period. Numbers from war-on-ice.com.

1.20 Stars vs BOS Corsi_ZSO

Tyler’s Like, ‘Why Are You So Obsessed With Me?’

During our cattle call last week for questions from our friends and listeners, we got this gem:

“Explain Tyler Seguin. You have 300 words. Go!”

And look. Carolyn and I are very talented bearded ladies, but counting to 300 during an off the cuff soliloquy isn’t one of the many I possess, and quite frankly we kinda forgot. So! We decided this got its very own post, and here you go.

Tyler Seguin. How do I explain Tyler Seguin? Tyler Seguin is flawless (or, no not really). I hear his hands are insured for $10,000 (probably more, probably millions). I hear he does Rally House commercials. In Dallas. His favorite movie is Varsity Blues (if we had evidence he’s seen this, it would be the best). One time he met Steven Stamkos on a plane, and Stamkos told Seguin that he’s pretty (again, if we had even a crappy cell phone video of this, it would be the literal best). One time he punched me in the face (not really). It was awesome (it would probably hurt). (Listen if Tyler punched me in the face I’d kick him in the balls, so.)

Tyler Seguin would like to meet six drink Jamie. When he was born, his mother cried because she knew she’d never be better than him. He was born for hockey: he has terrible hair and loves lying. Tyler Seguin thinks he would make the perfect American President based on his skill set, dance ability, and bloodlust. Tyler isn’t a stone cold bitch, he’s a natural, beautiful presence. The English language cannot fully capture the complexity of his thoughts. He’s pretty sure he’s perfect the way he is and should never change. All men are at least 30% attracted to him. At any given moment, he’s only thinking about one thing: Richard Dreyfuss hunkered over eating dog food. He’s just one of us. Prettier. And different. And better. But one of us.