3.1.15 – Stars vs Ducks Game Recap (Who Cares About the Game Don’t Trade For Phaneuf)

Stars losing streak extends to six. Jamie didn’t get any points at all. Corey Perry had a multiple point game. Did I miss any other low points?

I’m trying to think of a team I hate more than the Ducks and I’m drawing blanks. I knew this game was gonna be bad so I started the evening off right.

(Spoilers: it didn’t really help.)

ALSO THIS GAME WAS ON NBC. I don’t know why I keep doing the recaps for the games that end up being on NBC, but here we go again. Except, as the first period started, I heard the heavenly tones of Daryl Reaugh between the glass, and therefore was not treated to any heavy handed slavering Ducks bullshit as the game went on. Bless you, Razor. Bless you.Read More »

2.22.15 – Stars vs Wild Game Recap (Salt Content Warning)

May be dangerous for consumption.

Look, I started out this game already pissed off because of the previous game, and literally nothing alleviated how pissed off I was. I have now reached entirely new levels of pissed off. One could almost call me incandescent with rage.

Things that didn’t help during this game: it was on NBC again and while they did not have the glaring errors they did during that game against the Blackhawks, the broadcast was so biased toward the Wild it was hard to listen to. Like, extremely hard to listen to.

Let’s look at a chart.

2.22 Stars vs MIN Corsi_ZSO

Figures taken from War On Ice, 5v5 unless otherwise mentioned, scored adjusted. Total CF was 43%. Bright side: we were out possessed and still lost? At least it actually makes sense.

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2.2.15 – Podcast Episode 4!

Friends, let me give you some advice: never record a podcast on a Monday. In this episode, we go into mourning, talk Texas Stars and AHL realignment, gush about John Klingbae, and answer some thought provoking reader questions. Also Merrin is grouchy, and I have low blood sugar.

Bonus Materials

Good follows for Texas Stars/AHL info: @100DegreeHockey@SeanShapiro

Excellent article on the Dallas Stars power play (DBD fan post)

Clarification: Kevin Hayes was drafted by the Blackhawks and joined them for prospect camps, however he was never offered a contract and instead signed with the Rangers this summer. His brother Jimmy Hayes played for Rockford and then was traded to the Panthers. Coincidentally, they were playing each other last night while we were recording the podcast.

Carolyn looks at our stats in Canada

A good look at the math behind being a bubble team (courtesy of Puck Daddy)

RIP: Jordie’s Beard, you may be gone, but you will not be forgotten.

1.4.15 – Stars vs Blackhawks Game Recap (Graphs of Feelings)

If you’ve read our bios, you know that Carolyn and I are also Blackhawks fans, although our victory green runs a little deeper than the Hawks’ red. (Or a lot deeper, in my case, I can’t speak for Carolyn.) Last season I stopped expecting to feel conflicted when they play, or to feel any joy at the sounds of Chelsea Dagger when the puck is behind my beloved Kari.

Guess what? Hasn’t changed.

(Let’s talk about Chelsea Dagger for a minute.)


Disclaimers: possession numbers come from War On Ice, and if I mention them at all I’m only looking at 5 v 5, because I don’t want to do the math necessary to understand CF % on special teams.

To start with, can we talk about the announcing? I think local Hawks fans got to watch Pat Foley and Eddie Olczyk on WGN, but Stars fans (because the game was broadcast on NBCSN) were stuck with whatever horrible NBC announcers got assigned to the game. It was HORRIBLE. I have this written observation:


It started when Mike Milbury (LOOK I CAN GET YOUR STUPID NAME RIGHT EVEN THOUGH YOUR OPINIONS ARE TERRIBLE) called Antoine Roussel “Dominic Roussel” (something which actually CONTINUED THROUGHOUT THE GAME by like EVERYONE at NBCSN, leading me to believe that everyone actually thinks that’s his name on that fucking station).
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12.29.14 – Stars vs Rangers Game Recap (Carolyn’s Out, But We Still Have Graphs)

Your regularly scheduled game recapper has been sacked. Just kidding, she’s out because of holiday travel, so you get me instead. It’s kind of like the color analyst vs the play-by-play guy, if the color analyst spent the entire time making terrible dad jokes and sighing over Jamie Benn’s face. That happens, right?

Carolyn likes to break things up by the good, the something not in English, and the bad (she generally says No Bueno, but that one I got). I’m gonna try something new. By periods!

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12.23.14 – Stars vs Toronto Game Recap (Have Some Goddamn Charts)

Effing Christ. Games like this makes me hate being the “stat” person of this barbate duo. Seriously, I’m having a hard time trying to figure out what to write other than “Fuck this shit, bullshit, mother fucker shit.”

The standard disclaimer: stats from war-on-ice.com, 5v5, all score situations, unless otherwise noted.

The Good

  • Jonathan Bernier – he got a shut out on 43 shots tonight.


12.23 Stars vs TOR Corsi_ZSO

  • Not a single person under 55% CF% on even strength. Frankly, this says more about how terrible the Leafs are at 5v5 than how well the Stars played tonight.
    • Side Bar: The ruffle was mightily shuffled tonight so take line combos with a grain of salt. I included 5v5 TOI as well to give y’all a better idea of what might’ve happened.
  • The Stars had 43 shots on goal, 33 on even strength.
  • My personal hero, Travis Morin.

The Más o Menos

  • We only allowed 1 goal on 5 penalty kills against one of the best power play teams in the league right now.
    • Side bar: Twice tonight Merrin & I looked at each other and went “Oh, wait, are we on the PK?” because we were in the Leafs’ zone so much.
  • The Stars jumbo-tron went viral again tonight. Way to brighten an otherwise dismal showing.


  • Listen, I have to say it, but Kari is not good this year. He can be good, but overall, he is not. There are too many goals let in that should not go in. The first 3 goals went on only 15 shots.
  • EFFING CHRIST THOSE BREAKAWAYS. So, I heard it on the TSN Analytics podcast, and it was linked again over at defending Big D earlier today, but the one thing Nill said he looks for when we’re in the defensive zone is to be able to see all five Stars on the screen. It’s honestly a pretty good eye test to see who’s doing work. I highly doubt he’s going to be pleased tonight.
  • Do you wanna see another chart?

12.23 4v4 CF

That’s the Corsi For % for our 4v4. MIGHT WANNA WORK ON THAT GUYS.

  • Do you wanna see another chart?

12.23 TOR Goals Plot

I FEEL LIKE FUCKING CASSANDRA WATCHING TROY BE SACKED. I promise I didn’t just copy and paste this from SUNDAY NIGHT’S RECAP. Effing Christ.

Happy Holidays all, unless you’re a Leafs fan, at which point I hope you have an Alright Holidays.